Back to church

My post after this one will be very informative about my reasoning for going back to church, but for now I thought i would share about the two weeks of church I have gone back to and attended. Jodi had to work the first Sunday that she moved in with us so i thought it would be best to go to church with the kids with someone we know. Everyone in my family has offered to go to church with me at least once so i had a hard time chosing but i found out that my sister and brother from T3 had church at nine which was appealing since i had some chores and homework that i needed to do before going to dinner and mom and dad taylors. I woke up excited to go to church and then adam started giggling at me. I asked him what was so funny to which he replied, " its the first sunday of the month" I couldnt believe it. Every single freaking time i have gone to LDS church it has been a fast sunday. the problem with this...I hate fast sunday.My reasoning may be a little weird but this is my thing, first off i grew up in a church that does not really talk about feelings and we dont get up in front of each other trying to prove that we believe in something. Second in my experience people either get up there to kinda get on their own personal soap box, recite what they think that people want to hear, or end up crying so bad that you can understand what they are saying....Now having said that there have been a few exceptions which end up being pretty amazing. This particular sunday there were two exceptions. both from younger boys, yet their spirits seemed much older. I enjoyed hearing them speak and then the rest were not really my thing. It is obviously very different from what i grew up with. the biggest difference is the noise in the chapel. I totally understand that you cannot control little kids from making noises but it was soo loud!!!I didnt mind too much due to the fact that it was fast sunday but man it was distracting. I did not feel the spirit this day unfortunatelyunfortunatly.

However last sunday was different. First off, Jodi and the kids went to their ward in Alpine which left Adam and I to make the decision to go on our own. I remembered thinking as i went to bed on saturday night that i was so tired and i didnt want to wake up early for church. Adam told me that it was my choice whether we would go or not. I woke up two hours before church started and felt very refreshed. I turned over and told Adam that we were going so he better get ready. We went to our ward on our own by our own will (at least I went of my own will, i'm not sure about adam, i think he went on my will as well) All three speakers talked of service and how once you truly turn yourself over to the greater good of others you will truly find happiness yourself. I teared up a little, because over the last two years and i have pushed myself to be more giving and to try and not be so selfish....honestly the last two years have been the happiest years of my life. Everything the speakers said felt like they were speaking to me and I just knew that this was just further validation that i am doing the right thing. After church we met the bishop who seemed very surprised to have someone coming to him telling him that I was getting baptized before even meeting with a missionary. He said it does not happen that way often. Thursday will be my first lesson with the missionaries....I will update you with how it goes.